When you think minority, what is the first thing that comes to mind? I always think immigrants, low-income housing, and stereotypes. But I was born and raised in The Bronx, so maybe I'm biased. As a proud Dominican, I am the first to say that being a minority is hard. Having to stay loyal to our culture but also integrate ourselves into a world where we are not important, can be discouraging. Our battles are a lot harder, and our fight is much deeper. It's like carrying the pain of our immigrant ancestors with every decision we make about our future.
As a 2nd generational Latina, I was taught to always obey and never question my superiors. To always keep your head down, and to not ask questions. To never draw too much attention because we have to stick to our own, or "they" might send us away. For 33 years I had lived this way, until not questioning caused the life of my grandfather to crumble before my eyes.
November 10th, 2023, Papito was admitted, and on November 28th he was pronounced dead. I could get into much detail about how the hospital did not care for him correctly, but ultimately it all comes down to the fear of questioning authority. Doctors are seen as "gods" and their credentials state they can do no wrong. My families complete trust in a system that is in place to keep us ignorant, took away the choice to fight for more time with my grandfather. Like most minority families, we have all been raised to never question and always fear. It is no wonder minorities fear the thought of mental illness. If they can put us away for being a minority, what will they do if we are minorities struggling with depression?
I have always questioned my belonging in the world. It seemed as if I was placed here to help humanity, but no-one believed me. I remember as a child I would walk around stating
"I am going to save the world". I did not know what that meant at the time, but as I grew into a teenager I remember the longing for unity in a world that thrived on separation. We are always separated by race, gender, ethnicity, and social class. I longed for a world that saw us all as equals. The constant back and forth with myself on who I was "raised" to be, versus the person I was "meant" to be, is something all 2nd generation children experience. Our parents were all raised in a setting where "freedom" was not an option, but a gift. A gift that was given to us with their migration into the United States. But, that gift was not freely given, because there is an expectance of a return. We are the investments they sacrificed for.
The expectations placed on us, has led to a rise in mental health disorders. Not to mention what was once attainable in the early 2000's, is a dream now in the year 2024. All jobs now require a bachelors degree, and if you want to make it big, you must have over ten years experience in the field. With this type of requirement, I regret that I did not start working on my career at the age of 10. Its like I should've started saving for the down-payment of my first home at the age of 4. I am now questioning that Barney themed birthday party. Maybe I should have asked for stock investments. But, lets be real, most of us living in the boogie down Bronx, didn't learn about stocks until a few years ago. We have been too busy waiting in line for the next Jordan's to drop. Again, it is not something we are taught. We are always on survival mode. We are all just trying make it to a place where we do not fear for our lives while crossing the street. How can we think about mental health, when we are just trying to stay alive.
Again, do you think our parents notice this? No, they are still waiting for a return on their investment.
This constant pressure can only lead to one outcome: A mental breakdown. Our immigrant family members did not have to face these pressures, and they did not give us the tools to battle them. Granted, I will not take away from the struggles they faced when the first arrived here. Racism and stereotyping was the norm back then. So I can imagine the fear of being targeted by US citizens and also living in fear of being sent back to the country they escaped from. That fear still lives inside the generations that were born in the US. It does not matter if you were born in the US, we will always be immigrants. Our immigrant parents came here to give us an opportunity to succeed. It is as if we were destined for greatness, but also taught to be powerless. Looking back at history minorities didn't have a chance. From the religious dogmas implemented at a young age, to the lack of questioning any type of authority that stemmed from the fear of being deported or locked away. We have been programmed to be in a constant state of survival, and never letting our physical bodies experience a life without constant cortisol.
I may be "canceled" for shedding light on this, but from my experience religious dogmas are the reason minorities have been chained in the never ending cycle of poverty, disease and mental health disorders. One thing all minorities have in common is faith. Faith in God to provide for us in our times of need. That faith that kept slaves alive for close to 100 years, became distorted and used as a way to control us. Those who have chained us are using our faith against us. Because if you go against what the church says, you go against your family and God. We have been programed to live with the fear of damnation, by not following a set of rules. Granted, all things have consequences, but when you are punished for loving someone of the same sex as you, at what point do you question your faith? At what point are we living our truth versus living someone else's lie. Love thy neighbor never meant to not love yourself. When you love yourself, you are able to truly love another by giving from a cup of love, versis a cup filled with judgement, shame, and fear. We have been programed to believe that we are powerless and that using your voice to speak your truth goes against God. I am here to tell you it is your birth right to not only live in your truth, but to spread the light that lives inside of you. God is everything that is organic, so in essence you are God. God has never been fear or shame. God is love, and you are love. No matter what generational or personal trauma you experience, you are love. Choosing love and compassion versus shame and guilt, is the life I want to live. When you live in a world with love and compassion, you don't attract the distortions of shame and guilt. Shame and guilt are directly tied to mental health disorders. When you hide your truth and live in fear, these emotions will end up manifesting into physical ailments that continue to attract more harm in your life. If only we were taught to not fear our environment, but to face it with courage and love. I wonder where we would be.
As a mother of 3, I have battled with what is right and wrong. I feared my soul would be condemned to a life time of flames, because religion told me so. I feared that my decisions would doom my children into a life of sadness. I did not realize how much guilt and shame was built within me, and it then manifested into severe anxieties and depression. Being a 2nd generation Latina, not only means I needed to succeed in the "right" way, but I needed to believe in God the right way. Every action I took was to please a god that did not exist in my reality. Because I did not resonate with a god that would condemn me for masturbation, or for not going to church on Sundays. But questioning this is not a part our culture. The minute I decided to let go of what has chained me, was the same moment I created true freedom for my children. By allowing myself to feel the hurt I have felt for years, and embrace my trauma as what molded me, I created a safe place for my children to feel and heal. I created a chance for fear to die. I will not pass down our generational trauma.
At what point are we going to realize we are not the labels that have been created for us. While families can pass down generational trauma, they can also create a chain of events that leads us on a path to break those generational curses. My mother always says "You can be whatever you want to be". I have carried this mantra throughout all the phases of my life. Regardless of the anxiety disorders, and the constant fear of failure, this mantra has been the very reason I have also found the light and the courage to speak up.
So what do I want to be? I want to be courage and light. I want to let the world know we are not chained to a certain race or gender. I want to let the world know how powerful we are as a unit. Because when all is said and done, we are all Human.
🌙This Journey is dedicated to my amazing grandfather and to all the hospital-bound patients who still fear to speak up due to language barriers or lack of health information. I LOVE YOU ALL!✨
With love and light,
Angie D. Nunez, BA, Reiki Therapist
Absolutely !It's crucial for us, as humans, to raise awareness of the adversities within our systems, particularly within the healthcare setting. While it may be uncomfortable to shed light on these difficult topics, it's imperative for fostering change!